To Christmas Eve

Through the years, Christmas Eve, you have brought me a lot of fun times. I remember being young and trying and trying to sleep but I never really could. I remember finally, somewhere in the night, drifting off to sleep, but waking up after what seemed only 15 minutes to see if it was morning yet. Finally, once it was about 5:30 am I couldn't take it anymore, at I just sat up and watched the clock until 7:00 (pronounced "seven-oh-oh" in your best little-boy voice) to wake up the rest of the siblings and go bounding into mom and dad's room. There we would wait and wait while they agonized us by saying they didn't want to go out yet or that they had to go to the bathroom or go make sure Santa still wasn't in the living room. I remember my dad going out to get the camera and having us take baby steps down the hall, all the while snapping picture after picture. Great times. My parents did an awesome job of building the hype.

I remember Christmas in the mission. I never wanted to eat spaghetti or buko salad again... Man you fed me a lot on those nights, Christmas Eve.

I remember lots of Christmas Eve's spent watching Christmas movies and going over to our friends, who are now also our family, to read and act out the Luke 2 story and share talents.

Tonight I was a Shepherd.

Christmas eve is full of beautiful sights and sounds, and of course delicious tastes (I've gained 3 pounds since being home, to give you an idea of just how delicious). Tomorrow everyone will wake up and open presents. Tomorrow our thoughts will be on family and Christ as we participate in our traditions. I love it.

I always love Christmas time, but I think I realized this year what it is exactly that makes the Christmas season just so special. It has to be the feast the senses get from the whole season. The cold is refreshing, the smell if just fresh, the tastes are rich, the sights are beautiful, and the smells are full of memory of Christmas past.

Thanks, Christmas. You rock.

To Home

There is somethin about going home that just makes life awesome. Even though I really don't have any friends at home anymore (except Ashley), I just feel at home at home... (Yeah I know what I said).

On may way back to you, home, I had to wait in Sea-Tac for an hour, but I even loved that! I stepped out of the airport and it was misting outside. Not raining, not sprinkling, but the classic seattle misting. Good thing I had my hoodie on. I fit in much better than those Southwest flyers coming in from Long Beach wearing shorts, sandals, and rain coats and sporting their umbrellas. Psh. Umbrellas are for wussies.

I love being with you, home, because you mean family, and family rocks. I've got the coolest nephew and the 3 cutest nieces in the world and they're all here with us this week. I get to be with my sister and her family and my bro and his wife who is prego. I get to hang out and go to the gym with my little sis who runs like a thousand miles a day. I can't believe how much we've grown, home, and you were always such a big part of that.

Now it pretty much just seems that I really only get to come back every Christmas, when family is here. Otherwise it's just not the same, ya know?

So, home, thanks for everything. Even though you don't provide me with a room anymore and I find myself sleeping on the couch most nights, I love being here. Thanks for the food. Thanks for the family. Thanks for the awesome weather. Thanks for the smells, tastes, sights, and feelings I've loved throughout my life. Seattle's always gonna be home for me.

To Santa

Dear Santa,

I hope you're doing well. I hope you had a good year and you're finding yourself ready for the holiday season. Crazy how fast it comes, no?

Anyway, Santa, I'm guessing you know all about what this letter is, so I'll get right to it. Here is my Christmas list:

-Underwear. Because the more underwear I have, the less often I have to do laundry, the more money I have.

-iPod speakers or a stereo for the shower so I can express myself in the mornings.

-Snowboard pass for night snowboarding, because I don't want to spend my monday/thursday/friday/saturday nights doing homework.

-Groceries. Cuz I mean, everyone needs to eat, right?

-iTunes money. Never does me wrong.

-Ties and white shirts.

-Homework elf. Yes. I want one of your elves to do my homework.

-8 hours of sleep a night. Or maybe just 2 more hours every day so I can be awake as much as I am now but still sleep 8 hours a day.

-Girlfriend. Complete with diamond ring.

-Dates that are cheap. Or a dating fund. Something to help pay for going on dates with that girlfriend.

-Textbooks. Or a college degree.

-A summer internship. Paid hopefully. Either in Provo or Seattle.

-Acceptance letter to the UW MHA program.

And of course...

-Peace on Earth.

Love ya, Santa. I know you can come through.

To Dating

You sure are a fickle friend, dating. It is definitely a love/hate relationship. I definitely enjoy your company, yet sometimes I just don't want anything to do with you. All in all, you're awesome. I just have a few questions for you dating...

I don't have any problems with trying to ask a girl to hang out with you one time... but how do I do it the second time with that same girl? I mean, how do I know if she's interested? How do I know when I can ask? Do I have to go on dates with some other girls first? What do you do on a second date? I don't even know what the girl is thinking at this point!

One thing I've noticed too is that you don't seem to be too keen on entertaining groups of more than 4, sometimes 6. Why is this? I know often times it gets a little weird for me, especially on a first date because it gets super hard to even get to know the girl I'm with. Maybe I just shouldn't do the group date thing... I dunno... You tell me what you want.

How do I know when to end you? Not meaning to stop dating, but how do I know when the date has gone too long? Actually, come to think of it, I think I know when you last too long, the question is how do I end it? Thats the tricky thing because if I end a date before curfew the girl might think she's a bad date or I just want to be doing other things. If I don't, the date could get boring or something. It's just tricky.

How do I make you cheap? I try, but just can't do it.

Thanks for being fun at least, dating. You're a good friend, even though I don't understand how you work sometimes.

To Thanksgiving Break again

Thanksgiving Break, I sure am thankful for you. Even after you're over, I'm so glad you were there for me. My plans for you as discussed in my previous letter? Didn't pan out so well...

First off I said I would pass the 14 hour drive with sleeping, reading, and listening to music. No reading got done, and not even that much sleeping because I spent most of the ride with a pretty killer headache. Thank goodness for that great man Dr. Pepper. Without him I don't think I would have started you out well at all, break. I think I said I was going to read a whole lot of Harry Potter while enjoying you... I didn't. I maybe read 10 pages. I believe I also said I would hammer out a lot of homework. Well... Lets just say I still have the 14 hours in the car on the way back to Utah to hammer that out... As for the BYU-Utah game. Thank you for providing such a great game. However, I didn't see a single second of it. I actually spent all Saturday at the UW-WSU game watching UW trounce the Courgars and our TV blacked out the Y game for some reason so I couldn't even TiVo it.

I did spend a lot of time with Ashley, which rocked my world. She and I made some life changing decisions for me and a few other people. We also probably greatly confused my extended family and they most likely think I brought home a sugar momma to introduce to my parents. Love ya, Ashley! haha.

All in all I have loved spending you, my 2nd favorite break, at home for the first time in five years. I'm tired now, so I'm going to enjoy the next five hours of sleep before I spend the last 14 hours of you in a car putting off all that homework until monday.

To Thanksgiving Break

Thanksgiving break, thanks for always being there. Year after year. You've always been my 2nd favorite break. You probably always will be 2nd. Never 1st. Christmas will always be first. I just wanted to write this letter to let you know what I'm planning on doing with you this year.

First off, as good as you've been to me, you haven't brought me home for thanksgiving in 5 years. This year, however, you're letting me. Thanks for that. So I plan on going home, taking the 14 hour car ride with a few people I barely know. I'll probably end up reading Harry Potter, listening to music, and sleeping most of the way. It'll be awesome. One I get home on Wednesday night I'll probably hang out with my sister then fall asleep after spending too much time not doing homework and projects for school.

Thursday will be awesome. Full of doing nothing but playing on the Wii and eating food. I'll be hangin out with Ashley most of the day probably too (Holla!). Friday I'll probably finally buckle down and do all my work that I'm supposed to do. Saturday I'll probably do the same, watch the BYU-Utah game on my TV (most likely with Ashley again, Holla!), and then maybe go out for a Saturday night on the town. Sunday I get in the car and read more Harry Potter, listen to more music, and catch up on more sleep. Sleep I probably missed from the night before while I was hangin out with Ashley (Boo yah).

Love ya, turkey break!

To girls

So, girls. How are you doing? I'm doing well. I wanna say thanks first off for being so awesome. Most of the time you really rock. You're fun, you're good looking, and you're quite nice. Not to mention clean.

Sometimes however, you make life hard. It's so hard to know what you're thinking. Ever. I don't know if you're interested. I don't know if I can ask you out. I know most of the time I can ask you out once, but I have no clue if I can go for 2. Sometimes I figure I can go for it then you tell me no.

This isn't a letter of frustration by any means don't worry cuz I really think in general you're awesome. Just try to make our lives, as guys who are just trying to find someone and be happy, a little easier. Thanks! That's all I got for now.

To T-Pain

Dear T-Pain,

You're pretty much my hero and definitely the highlight of my week. I may be a little slower on finding out about all these things, but I found 3 amazing videos you're associated with, all of which have made my week worthwhile.

First is "On a Boat" with Lonely Island. So funny. Vulgar as it may be, it still makes me laugh every time I see it. I especially love the end when you're dancing and singing. its just ridiculous. What's more, I can't believe you were on a boat. That is pretty cool.

The second video is the one of you where your "I am T-Pain" app was featured on the Jimmy Kimmel show and he explained how the app can take anyone's voice and turn it into one of your songs. I didn't believe it at first, but you definitely pulled it off with Obama speaking on health care. Doctors, patients, amputation... just makes me laugh every time.

Finally my favorite has to be the video of you and Taylor Swift rapping... I do call her T-Sweezy now.

Daily viewings of these videos really helped me through this week and probably will help me through several weeks to come. Keep puttin out big youtube hits, T-Pain. We love you.

To Halloween

I like candy. I like the night. I like to party. Halloween, I don't know where you came from, but thanks for being here. Because you rock Halloween, I need to thank you for some awesome Halloween memories I have from the past.

First off is your song. I remember all through elementary school we sang the song that goes, "H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N spells HALLOWEEN!" In fact, for some reason the music teacher we had thought she had to teach us that same song every year. Not sure if she realized we remembered it from the previous year. Maybe our class teachers told her how bad we were at spelling. I don't know. Either way I love that song still and it's stuck in my head right now.

Next memory comes from the dinners I always had at home before going trick or treating. Macaroni and cheese with hotdogs in it. I think pretty much every year. As we were eating my dad always tried to be as scary as possible too. He was pretty scary. Not in the way he was going for, but he was scary.

Oh man, the things you have made me dress up as in the past, Halloween... A Ninja Turtle like 2 or 3 times, Jason, a pimp, and a die. Yes, a die. No, not die as in dead. Die as in dice. My brother and I were dice. I think one of my dad's bad puns was behind that.

All the candy, all the calories, and yet, no cavities caused by you. Thanks, Halloween!

To the bag boy at Smiths...

Okay, so this is in response to the assignment Shayne gave us.

I went to the store today and decided that for the assignment I should buy someone a gallon of milk. I was going to try to do is strategically too so that I could get it to someone who looked like they really needed it. I planned my timing in line for check-out and it was perfect. A poor older gentleman got in line behind me clutching foodstamps and a gallon of milk. I got to the front of the line and the checker started checking my items. I leaned over to the bag boy and told him that the gallon of milk I bought was for the man behind me and that when I walked out he needed to give it to him and tell him it was from me. He signaled to me that he understood. He winked even. It was great! I felt awesome. Here I was helping someone out with something they really needed. I pay for my groceries and head out to my car. I get in my car and start driving off just in time to see the man who was in line behind me come out... not with the gallon that I bought for him. The bag boy blew it. I don't know how, but he did. I mean, he winked at me signaling he knew the plan! I hope someone got that gallon of milk. If not, at least Smiths can resell it so I got to help them.

Sorry I didn't get to do the cool thing, Shayne. Maybe next time.

Another...

Game winning goal with 42 seconds left... Is it bragging yet?

To Boy Scouts

So, Boy Scouts, I have some advice for all of you. Before I give you this advice I need to tell you all about a roommate whom I will just call J. Schwarting for now. Perhaps that's too obvious so I'll just call him Jeff S. Point is, he is my roommate, and there are some lessons tone learned from him.

Now that I think about it this more this is going to have to be a multi-part epistle. Today then I teach two important lessons by way of a story.

Jeff is the king of doing stupid stuff. Sometimes we, as Jeff's roommate, sometimes encourage him to do dumb stuff. One morning after about 14 minutes of being awake we talked him into deep frying a twinky and a marshmellow for breakfast. He filled the frying pan with oil and got started with heating it up. For some reason he wanted to check how hot the oil was by flicking a few drops of water in it. Well nothing happened and so Jeff thought that maybe he would check how hot it was by putting a quarter cup of water in it. Well, we all told him it was a bad idea (cuz we draw the line at arson) but he is a pretty stubborn kid. So he put the water in the hot oil. Guss what happened next... Yup. The oil popped and splashed onto our burner, catching fire. Then of course the oil in the pan caught fire. The flames were burning the ceiling. Smoke filled the apartment. We had ourselves a grease fire. By some crazy stoke of luck the fire only lasted like 15 seconds and somehow nothing got burned. However, there are burn marks on our ceiling and there was oil everywhere. Then we walked over and turned off the stove.

So that's the background. Lesson one, don't try to get your buddies who do dunh things to do dumb things. Lesson two- and listen to this all you Boy Scouts cuz I know you all like fire- don't put water in hot oil.

Pretty easy. Just don't do it.

A short question

Is it bragging for me to say on here I scored 5 goals today in my soccer game?

To the Little Robby in All of Us

So when I was a little kid my parents always used to have some cute little-kid nicknames for me like Roberto, Robby-B, Sport, etc. I don't know why but for some reason it seems like a bit of that little kid has come out in me this past week and I was kinda hoping to get a little bit of that out of all four of you who will read my blog. I'm probably gonna reveal a lot about myself and how strange I was as a child (not saying that I changed much) but hopefully some of you can relate.

Remember playing with Marble Works? Maybe you have but you just can't remember. It was this toy set made up of a bunch of plastic pieces that you could assemble any which way to build vertically and create the world's coolest gravity-induced marble races (that's right, gravity induced. That means its green!). I remember saturday and sunday mornings spent with my older brother and sister trying to make the coolest marble-race tracks ever! I always made the coolest ones. The green marbles, which were mine, always won too. I remember getting upset when I lost or when my brother or sister wanted to change one of the race elements that I would throw a fit and just run everything over. That was awesome. Then K'nex came along with their big ball machine and the marble works never came out from under the stairs again. I don't think I ever figured out how to make that one right...

Sunday afternoons as a little tyke were always a delight. They consisted of making forts (again with my siblings), watching the old animated Book of Mormon Stories videos (The Tree of Life was by far the best one cuz Nephi saves that guy from falling into the hot chocolate river), and eating chocolate chip cookies. After the video I always used to love sitting in the fort and try to find where Waldo is or spy that sneaky Nephite and his buddies. The fort was by far the coolest part, but again I remember when my brother or sister wanted something I didn't I always decided it would be best to ruin it for everyone by standing straight up and just demolishing the fort.

Four-on-four soccer games where only about 3% of the soccer field would be used at one time. Boys' and Girls' Club basketball where even 7 foot hoops weren't low enough most times. Little League Night at the Kingdome and free Griffey shirts. Team Parties at Round Table Pizza and wasting all my money on that dang Simpsons arcade game.

Power Rangers. Yup. My brother and I used to pretend that we were Power Rangers. And I know what you're thinking, "Yeah, so did everyone else" but no... We made up our own Power Rangers and dinosaurs to go with it. My bro had an amethyst that he used as his morphing rock. For some reason he wanted to be a purple ranger, which I always thought was girly as a kid, but mine wasn't much better. I had an old lava rock and I was the maroon ranger... One time at our great aunt's house we couldn't figure out how to turn off the TV and Tales from the Crypt was on so we pretended like we were fighting that creepy skeleton guy who hosts it... (This is getting more embarrassing than I thought it would)

I used to wake up super early as a kid. Like 6:00 am every day. I would go and wake up my parents right away until they told me I couldn't wake up until 7:00. I still woke up at 6 but I would go out and sit on the kitchen floor and watch the microwave clock (the only digital clock we had at the time) until it read "seven-oh-oh" and I would run into my parents' room and jump on the bed between them. Those were the types of times that our moms or dads would say "I love you this much!" and hold out their arms as wide as they could. I never thought that was fair since I was so much smaller than them, so I found a way to one up them. I pinched my fingers together as tight as possible and said "I love you this much!" Of course my parents would get sad at first but I was a smart kid and I knew the world was round so I explained that what I meant was that it went around the world connecting my two fingers, forming a circle. Then they felt better.

*Sigh* how I wish life was still that simple. How I wish I could just go back and do it all again. Yeah life is good now, but life is also scary sometimes. Decisions have to be made and sometimes it's confusing knowing what it best or what God wants for you. Why can't life's biggest difficulties just go back to finding Waldo's blasted shoe that he lost on the last page...

To Apple

Well, you've done it. You've amazed me again, Apple. I remember that first you amazed me with the iMac when I was but a wee lad. It was hip and cool and colorful. It happened again when I was in high school and you gave us iTunes and the iPod. I fell in love with my first iPod. I was one of the first people I know to get one. I used it for a good four years before going on my mission. After getting home of two years in the Philippines I was blown away by the iPhone, MacBook pro, and other fancy stuff you had to offer. Well now again I am impressed. I just purchased your new iPod touch and after enduring the delays of a global supply chain have been putting it to good use. In fact, I'm writing this thank you letter right now from the comfort of my living room floor. The touch display is impressive. The operating system, commendable. The apps just make me happy. It is so big yet so small at the same time. Thanks for this great new innovative product. I expect more great things out of you and I know you won't disappoint.

To Kneaders

Kneaders,

Hey, how's it going? How is business? I pretty much wanna say thanks and thats about it.

First, thanks a ton for breakfast. I really can't think of anything that I would rather eat in the later hours of the morning than there at your establishment. The french toast is awesome. It isn't only the french toast that brings me there in the morning. You also provide a great chance to get together with friends who are really busy at night usually.

Second, thanks for the turkey bacon avocado sandwich on focaccia bread. Wow. It's good. I have to say that honestly it is the best turkey sandwich I've ever had.

Finally, thanks for the quote.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing" -Edmund Burke

Thanks.

To the MTC

Hey MTC. First off I wanna say thanks for being there. Thanks for being there to employ me as one of your teachers, but mostly thanks for being there for missionaries to learn and grow and stuff before they go serve the Lord.

I'm having trouble working through a mental debate I'm having with myself, so I figured I'd turn to you for your advice and help.

Being a student at BYU is fun and tough, especially in the business program. My classes this semester have me working hard, but also have me thinking about whether or not I should really be working there with you. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. I love being a part of the missionaries' lives and helping them prepare to invite people to come unto Christ. I love being able to teach Tagalog to people. It definitely helps to keep me sharp on my language skills. Only thing is, I've been thinking lately that as much as I love working with the missionaries, I really don't know how much my job is helping me with my career in business.

I need the job to help me to pay for school and what not. I especially want to try to avoid any student loans if possible. Yet, at the same time I think that perhaps by quitting my job I can focus on things that will help me advance my career opportunities. All this meaning that even if I do take on debt, a better career offered by better focus on that now provides a higher opportunity cost.

I just don't know what to do. What do you think?

To the Mariners

I know this is too early for an end of season thank you letter, Seattle Mariners, but thank you.

First off, thank you for playing good baseball and really showing the world that yes, Seattle can still compete in sports. We don't just roll over and die in everything these days. Thanks for giving us a good effort and putting up a (soon to be hopefully) winning season.

Mostly I just want to say thank you to you, Mariners, for resurrecting my hero, Ken Griffey Junior. He is the best player I have ever seen play the game. I grew up watching him. I sometimes even think of him as my second father. He was the heart and soul of the Mariners my entire childhood, and watching him go all those years ago was one of the saddest days of my life. He leaves Seattle, and his career is plagued by injury. It is sad. He probably would have been the best player of this generation and one of maybe 5 pure sluggers in the game. Thanks for bringing Ken back to the house that Junior built. I love watching him. Tears well up in my eyes every time I hear that announcer say "Now batting, Keeeennn Griffeeeeeeeyyyy JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNIIOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" Some say he didn't do much for the team this year because of his batting average. I say he saved the team completely this year. Not just the team, but the city. He brought us back to Safeco. He reminded us (and probably the team too) of what baseball is all about. That big smile put smiles on millions.

Thanks, Mariners, for a great season. I know your playoff hopes are shot this year. Best of luck next year. Sodo Mojo. My Oh My. Refuse to lose.

To Provo

I'm a student at Brigham Young University. Owned by the LDS church, BYU is tucked away at the feet of the Wasatch Mountains 50 miles south of Salt Lake City in a little college town called Provo. BYU is Provo. 99 out of 100 people you meet here are mormon. Most of which are BYU students or BYU alum. There are hundreds of congregations that meet for Sunday worship while the rest of the town is dead and even fast food chains are closed for the day.

Now you might think, being a college town, that Provo might have a lot to offer in the way of things to do for a college student (us crazy mormons!). Well, believe it or not you're wrong. It pretty much sucks living here 99% of the time because all there is to do is watch TV or movies and try to escape the fact that we are actually living in the nexus of the boredom universe. A crazy night on the town is usually topped off with bowling up on State street's famous Miracle Bowl.

But somehow, tonight, I love Provo. This fall has started no different than any, with the town holding its breath as the long awaited college football season begins and we all wonder... "how are the cougs gonna hold up this year?" We opened our season tonight ranked #20 facing off against the Heisman winning Sam Bradford and the #3 Sooners at the "neutral stadium" of the Dallas Cowboys in Arlington, Texas, and somehow we won. This isn't necessarily why I love Provo tonight, because we win often nowadays. I love Provo right now because the town went absolutely crazy after the win.

2 hours after the final whistle traffic was backed up on all the streets, crazy mormon college kids were running around the streets jumping on cars driven by old ladies and screaming in victory. Honking cars crowded the parking lot of the stadium as thousands did nothing but yell into the night. I couldn't have imagined anything close to that happening here, even if BYU had won the national championship or Obama had been shot.

The time is now 10:32, and the crowds are starting to die down. Any other college town and we would be off drinking our livers to hell and probably getting laid. None of that here. We have church in the morning.

To the world

My name is Rob, and I'm from Seattle.

I attend school at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. I'm sure you'll be hearing lots about me and Provo in my following epistles. Not that I have anything against BYU, it's just that I have something against Provo. After all, I'm from Seattle.

In case you were wondering, yes, I am a Mormon. Hence my Biblical reference in the name of my blog. And I just thought it was clever. I served as a Mormon missionary (yes the 19-20 year old boys who walk around in suits and parted hair) in Manila, Philippines. Expect to be hearing more about that and my experience there too.

This is my first attempt at blogging. It was given to us as an assignment for my business writing course at BYU, but I'm actually really excited about this. I'm going to mainly use this to express my thoughts and opinions in letter format (mostly) to either an individual or an organization. Some may be angry, some may be funny, and, like it or not, some may be offensive. This is my brain. This is how it works. I'm not worried about it. You shouldn't be either.

I hope I write something interesting or worthwhile somewhere down the line.